


it's okay

by plastic--hearts (paperxvalentines)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Married Life, it's just soft, kihyuk rise, kihyun is insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 09:24:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15771279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperxvalentines/pseuds/plastic--hearts
Summary: “A tiny change in routine for us can be a big deal for her, but she loves you as much as she loves me, Kihyun, there's no doubt about it.”in other words, Kihyun is insecure about his parenting and Minhyuk comforts him.





	it's okay

**Author's Note:**

> This has been running through my mind ever since I saw the daycare ep of MX Ray (which I only just watched bc I am a lazy stan)  
> as always, I hope you all like this!! we all need more Kihyuk in our lives.
> 
> ps I couldn't come up with creative names Hyunmi could call them, so please bare with me
> 
> (also!! I saw [this precious tweet](https://twitter.com/4kihyuk/status/1030908160238936064) right after writing this so I had to share!!)

When Minhyuk told Kihyun that he would be working late that night, he thought nothing of it. Having to stay overtime happened to everyone, and even though it was Minhyuk’s first late night in a long while, it was nothing for Kihyun to freak out over. 

But the situation currently at hand? A  _ definite _ reason to freak out. Or at least mildly panic.

“Hyunmi,  _ please _ ,” Kihyun sighed, trying desperately to get his four year old daughter away from the stuffed animals on her bed and into the bathroom. “You need to shower before bed.”

Instead of responding verbally, she shook her head, pouting her lips further as she continued to fiddle with her blue and pink fish lying in her lap. 

“You can take Momo with you,” Kihyun tried again but to no avail. He couldn't even pick her up, because every time he did she would flail her arms and scream, refusing to let him even take a step out of her room.

“I want Appa,” she mumbled through still pouted lips. 

Kihyun sighed, ran a hand through his hair. This was the third time in the past hour that she had asked for Minhyuk, and it broke Kihyun’s heart a little more each time. He didn't know what he was doing wrong; she was generally a good kid, barely ever giving them any trouble. 

“He’ll be home soon,” Kihyun replied, taking a glance at his watch. Minhyuk was due home in just over an hour, but Hyunmi had to get to bed within the next half hour. “But he won't be happy if you haven't showered.”

That seemed to strike a nerve with her, because she looked up at Kihyun with big eyes that were slowly welling up with tears, and Kihyun felt a wave of guilt overcome him.

“Oh no, no cutie don't cry,” he quickly reached out for her, but she turned her body away, sobs coming in full force. He sighed, opting to simply rub her back instead. “Hyunmi, it's okay, he’ll be home soon.”

She continued to wail, face pressed against the fish plushie, and Kihyun was nothing short of disheartened. He let her cry it out, unsure of what else he could do, continuing to rub her back comfortingly. After a while, the crying ceased, her small hands coming up to rub her eyes as she yawned loudly.

“Are you feeling better?” Kihyun asked gently, but much to his dismay, she shook her head. He tried to pick her up once again and this time she let him, too tired to protest. Deciding to forgo the shower, he carried her over to her dresser, opening a drawer and rummaging around for pyjamas with his free hand.

“Come on, let's get you to bed,” he murmured, gaining only a muffled hum in response. 

When he laid her down in her bed after getting her dressed, she was already falling asleep, arms still tightly clutching the fish. He sat beside her on the edge of her small bed, pulled the covers up around her, and was about to start running his hand over her head in a way he knew would help her fall asleep when she turned around to face him. He smiled fondly at her little face, but she didn't return it, instead choosing to pout. 

“Can you read to me?” she asked, the question wrapped in a yawn.

He nodded, moving over to the small bookcase beside the bed. “What book do you want?”

“The one Appa always reads.”

Knowing exactly which book it was, Kihyun found it quickly and pulled it out, lying down beside his daughter as he opened it to the first page. He began reading about the dogs, but Hyunmi protested again.

“What happened?” Kihyun asked, looking over at his daughter’s pouting, sleepy face.

“Do the voices.”

Minhyuk would always give the dogs in the book different voices, animating them so perfectly and bringing them to life for their daughter. Kihyun was sure he could do the same - probably not as good as his husband, but well enough to satisfy Hyunmi.

He started reading the page again, being sure to read it in the way he had heard Minhyuk do so many times before, and breathed out a sigh of relief when Hyunmi didn't say anything more.

At one point, he looked over at her to find her asleep, and smiled, closing the book softly. He put it away before adjusting the blankets around her and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. She stirred a little, causing him to hold his breath for a moment, but once he was certain she wouldn't wake up again, he clicked off the lamp beside the bed, leaving a small light on, and exited the room quietly, leaving the door open slightly.

With a sigh, he fell onto their couch, feeling the exhaustion kicking in. He knew he had to get up and brush his teeth, but instead his mind wandered, thinking about Hyunmi. She was a good kid: never gave them too much trouble, always listened to what they had to say. She was quiet, yes, but smart and considerate.

She also, very blatantly, had a favourite parent.

Kihyun couldn't blame her. Minhyuk was just better with kids, and that was a fact. There was nothing that could change that.

It just hurt that their own daughter would favour Minhyuk. Most days, Kihyun would watch the two of them with nothing but fondness in his heart, but then there were days like today, when that fact tore his heart apart. 

The more he thought about it, the more he felt his eyes stinging and his throat constricting. He laughed at himself in disbelief, wiping his eyes harshly. There was nothing he could do other than work harder at being a better parent. Crying would do him no good - he had to follow in Minhyuk’s footsteps. 

 

The next thing Kihyun felt was someone jostling him ever so slightly. With some effort, he opened his eyes, squinting against the light, to find himself being carried in Minhyuk’s arms. 

“Min?” he asked, not entirely convinced that this wasn't a dream.

“Hey baby,” Minhyuk whispered, smiling at his husband. He pushed their bedroom door open with his foot and laid Kihyun down on the bed, pulling the sheets up around him. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“It's okay,” Kihyun murmured, pulling the sheets up higher around his face and letting himself slip back into sleep. 

However, now that he had been woken up, sleep wouldn't return to him that easily. He was still awake when Minhyuk slipped in bed beside him after his nightly routine, and turned to face his husband. 

“How was work?” he asked quietly, reaching out to hold Minhyuk’s hand under the sheets.

“Long,” Minhyuk chuckled. “Hyunwoo’s got us working entirely too hard because of the project deadline. I don't know if we’ll make it.”

“It’s that bad?”

Minhyuk nodded, stifling a yawn with his free hand. “A few people aren't in this week, so even with the interns we’re lacking manpower.”

“Manpower,” Kihyun repeated, laughing at Minhyuk’s choice of words. “That's rough, though. Hopefully things will calm down after the deadline.”

“I hope so too,” Minhyuk murmured. “Thank god it's Friday.” He then reached forward and pulled Kihyun towards him, pressing a kiss to his forehead before tucking him under his chin.

Kihyun sighed contentedly, softly kissing the crook of Minhyuk’s neck before settling into the embrace.

They were quiet for a moment, and Kihyun assumed that Minhyuk had fallen asleep when the other man spoke up. “How come you fell asleep on the couch?”

“Ah…” Kihyun felt his cheeks heat up, embarrassed. “I was- I was just watching something and fell asleep midway, I guess.”

Minhyuk hummed in response. “Okay. You must be tired then…”

“A little,” Kihyun replied, but his body betrayed him and he let out a yawn, causing Minhyuk to giggle.

“Goodnight, baby,” he murmured, moving a bit so that he could kiss his forehead again. “I love you.”

“Goodnight,” Kihyun whispered, pushing himself closer against Minhyuk. “Love you, too.”

 

Kihyun thought he had sold the story to Minhyuk last night, but he had failed to remember that he could never lie to his husband.

“What happened last night, Ki?”

Kihyun looked up from the pattern he was absently tracing on Minhyuk’s chest, meeting his husband’s gaze. “What do you mean?”

Minhyuk smiled, soft, reassuring, but also knowing. “What made you fall asleep on the couch?”

“I already told you.”

“Ki, I know you too well. I know when you’re lying,” Minhyuk sighed softly. He lifted a hand to brush some of Kihyun’s chestnut locks away from his face. “What's the real reason?”

Kihyun looked away from his gaze, opting to focus on the fabric of Minhyuk’s faded blue t-shirt instead, sighing softly when Minhyuk began running his fingers through his hair in soothing motions. “I… Hyunmi gave  me trouble last night. I was just exhausted.”

“Hyunmi?” Minhyuk’s tone didn't fail to convey his confusion. “Really?”

“It's my fault,” Kihyun murmured. “I'm not as good a parent as you are.”

Minhyuk’s hand in his hair stilled. “What? Why do you think that?”

“It's just… She loves you, so much. She goes to you for everything.” Kihyun could feel his eyes stinging with tears once again, and quickly blinked them back, not wanting Minhyuk to see him. “Sometimes it's like she doesn't want anything to do with me.”

“I don't understand, Ki. Why are you saying this?”

“It’s always “Appa does this” and “Appa does that with me” and things like that,” Kihyun explained, knowing fully well that he wasn't making much sense, but all he could do to combat the tears was babble. “You guys just have this really strong bond, and I really love that, I love seeing the two of you together because you're the people I love the most in this world. But I wish, sometimes, that I could be more like you when it comes to being a parent.” He paused for a moment but still didn't meet Minhyuk's gaze. “She always goes to you for reassurance or to play or just about anything. I just- I just feel so pathetic sometimes, Min.”

Minhyuk, who had silently been rubbing his back, finally spoke up. “Kihyunnie, you know that's not true, right? I mean, yeah maybe at this point in her life, she’s closer to me, but that doesn’t make you  _ pathetic _ . She's still a kid, Ki… Obviously she's going to come to me more, because I let her get away with so much,” Minhyuk chuckled. “And a tiny change in routine for us can be a big deal for her. But just because she wanted me home doesn't mean she loves me  _ more _ . She loves you as much as she loves me, Kihyun, there's no doubt about it.”

Upon hearing his husband’s words, Kihyun couldn't hold back his tears any longer. He let them fall, let Minhyuk tuck him into his chest and whisper soothing words into his ear, let him hold him as he shook.

He didn't hear the door open over the sound of his heavy breathing and soft sobs a few moments later, but he did feel the additional weight on him and the sound of his daughter’s worried voice. “Papa! Why are you crying?”

He pulled himself away from Minhyuk to make space for his daughter between the two of them. She immediately clung onto him, climbing into his lap, and hugged him tightly. Kihyun held her gently and kissed the top of her head, before looking over at Minhyuk who smiled at him before taking one of his hands and squeezing it.

“Don't cry, Papa,” Hyunmi then said, her little hands coming up to wipe the tears off his face clumsily. 

Kihyun just smiled, took one of hands in his and kissed it. “I'm okay, I'm not crying anymore.”

“Papa, wait right here, okay?” she said, and Kihyun nodded, trying not to laugh at her very serious expression.

She then climbed off him and ran out of the room. Kihyun looked over at Minhyuk, who cupped his face gently. “You're not a bad parent, baby. You're loving and considerate, and you're always looking out for not only her but me too. You keep us in check, Ki.” He leaned closer and kissed his pointed nose, smiling when he scrunched it up. “Hyunmi loves you, and I love you. We all need each other equally.”

Before Kihyun could reply, Hyunmi was back in their room, arms full with her favourite stuffed fish toy. She clambered back onto the bed and put the toy in Kihyun’s arms. “Momo always makes me happy when I'm sad, Papa. She can make you happy too!”

Looking down at the fish in his hands, Kihyun missed the way Minhyuk was beaming at the sight of the two of them. “Thank you, Hyunmi,” Kihyun answered, holding the fish closer. “I'm much happier now because I have you  _ and  _ Momo.”

Hyunmi grinned widely, squeezing herself between her parents once again, clinging onto Kihyun’s arm tightly with her two smaller ones.

“Hey Hyunmi, do you remember where you got Momo?” Minhyuk asked, smiling even wider when Hyunmi thought about it for a moment, her expression changing to realisation a moment later.

“Papa gave her to me!” she exclaimed, making Kihyun’s heart flip. “He went away, and then he came back with Momo!”

“That's right!” Minhyuk agreed, gaze moving from Hyunmi to Kihyun. “You'd gone to Japan for a business trip and brought Momo back for Hyunmi.”

Kihyun smiles at the memory. It was two years ago, but Hyunmi still remembered - which probably meant Minhyuk hadn’t let her forget it. “I remember that,” he said softly.

“She's my favourite!” Hyunmi exclaimed excitedly. “I always sleep with her.”

“I know cutie,” Minhyuk laughed, poking Hyunmi’s nose and laughing again when she squealed.

Kihyun, on the other hand, felt like he was going to cry again. Not because he was feeling bad, no, but because he was beginning to see that he had been ridiculous.

His family might be small, but there was no shortage of love between the three of them. They did love each other unconditionally, and even though Hyunmi turned to Minhyuk for most things, it didn't mean she didn't care for Kihyun.

 

Later, much later that night, when they had settled into bed again, Kihyun turned to Minhyuk. He was sitting against the bed frame, reading with his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, and under the soft, warm light of the lamp, he looked beautiful. Kihyun pushed himself up and leaned over to kiss his husband’s cheek, effectively breaking his focus.

“Hello there,” Minhyuk chuckled, turning his head to face his husband. 

“You're beautiful,” Kihyun murmured, smiling when Minhyuk’s smile turned bashful. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Minhyuk replied, kissing Kihyun’s smile softly. 

“Thank you for today.”

Minhyuk smiled and shook his head. “It was all the truth, baby. Hyunmi loves you, I love you. Don't doubt yourself.”

“I'll try,” Kihyun replied honestly. He reached a hand out and smoothed Minhyuk’s tousled blond hair, smiling, and leaned in to kiss him again. “Goodnight, I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“Don't sleep too late.”

Minhyuk shook his head. “I won't.”

Kihyun smiled, kissed him once more, then settled into his spot again, pulling the blankets up around him. He fell asleep replaying the events of the day, his heart five times lighter than it had been in some time.

**Author's Note:**

> the ending is a little rushed but I hope you guys liked this anyways!!
> 
> as always, find me on [twitter](https://www.twitter.com/kiwikihyuk) and [tumblr](https://www.plastic--hearts.tumblr.com)!
> 
> also, the title is basic but I wanted to take it from [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_35NUGR1aM) so I guess I'll give credit where credit is due??


End file.
